Michael Jackson

So, my sister called me a few nights ago...to talk about the death of Michael Jackson. We both grew up absolutely adoring Michael Jackson (before he got really, really weird). In fact, Dangerous was the first album that our parents ever bought for us. She said something on the phone that was really cute.

"It was weird when I heard the news...because all I could think about was how I wanted to talk you and only you. No one else is going to understand why it's so weird that he's gone..."

I confess that maybe my heart skipped a beat.

Weird.

Okay, let me back for a minute.

Her and I have been talking on the phone the last couple of weeks. Without getting into detail, she's been incredibly sweet about random stuff.

Particularly, a few hours after I had my surgery a few weeks ago and was home, she came over with my brother. They brought some ready made food, fruit (my love of fruit goes way back), some gorgeous flowers, and, (brace yourself, folks)...she cleaned my kitchen. When I laughed and told her to stop, she adorably proclaimed, "no, no, I came over because I don't want you doing anything--you need to take it easy. Plus, I'm the same as you--I need a clean house to relax."

*lol*

Ummm...who are you and what have you done with my sister?

But, I'd like to clarify something with love. She's being sweet...but that's also me ignoring her elitist comments that are now about the rest of the world. It's funny--these comments don't upset me now, they just make me laugh at how outrageous she is...and what a reality check she is in for. I think we're able to have good conversations now because we're on the same boat--working, going to school (she's almost done with her bachelor's and doing a second degree BSN program), living with our partners, and running a household...

Anyways, back to the other night.

Me: Yeah, I felt the same way as you--I'm sure people would think I'm weird if I told them that I had a crush on Michael Jackson in the past.

Her: Totally!

Me: Let me guess something else--did you immediately think about all of the probate work involved with his death when you heard about it?

Her: Oh, my G-d, yes! Isn't it funny how that happens now? Just like the whole inspecting the construction of a place when you walk into a room...from rebuilding the house after the fire. It's just weird...but I guess it just means that we know how much work it is.

Me: Yeah, I agree.

Her: I've been thinking a lot about dad lately.

Me: I know--I did that when Jason and I started living together, it's natural.

Her: Really?

Me: Yeah, I think it happens because we've both never lived with another guy...except for dad. It's natural to compare and contrast. *chuckle*
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Then, we began talking about how unique of a guy my dad was...because of the things that he did for my mother. He would wake up every morning to make her breakfast, drive us to school every morning after braiding our hair, and clean and cook dinner by the time that she got home from work.

Eventually, my sister had to go because she was getting another call and we said goodnight to each other. After we hung up, I had such an odd thought.

My parents' deaths tore us apart...and, of all the people in the world, Michael Jackson's brought us together, even if it was just for a moment.

The Upcoming Interviews

In my last post, I hinted at the fact that I arranged to finish school before interview season starts for resident hubby for permanent positions with practices. Of course, I totally glossed over why I have been told, by others, that my presence is necessary for these interviews. :-P So, thank you Old MD Girl, for the question! :) The most important factor in the interviews is that because we are fairly sure that we'll be moving out of state, it's important for me to see what type of area we'll be moving into...and well as for resident hubby.

During resident hubby's fellowship, that will start a year from now, we will probably flying all around the country...because he will be interviewing for permanent positions. The reason that I'm arranging to finish early is because the interviews will take place on the weekdays as opposed to the weekend (which makes sense because resident hubby needs to see where he's going to work in action!). I'll probably still be working at my job so I don't have to coordinate missing any classes to go to these interviews...

I have a friend at work whose husband is in his last year of residency and she told me a bit about the interviews since she is going through them now. (Also, on the Lives of Doctors' Wives blog, a few posts are covered about it, too.) Long story short--it's an elaborate process where the practice has to pretty much sell themselves to you. As my friend said, "they know that I pretty much have the final say so with my husband's choice so they were really nice to me!"

I'm not entirely sure what interviews will be like (I'll write about them when we get there) but...from my understanding, I'm kinda being interviewed myself... Weird, I know. Because the practices realize that out of state moving is usually involved for the physician and their family, they will take you out...and highlight features of the city, the neighborhood, etc. They find out what your expectations are, what your partner expects, etc.

In some weird way, it reminds me of an arranged marriage--you guys are all pretty much scoping each other out for the pros and cons. :-P My coworker said that it was quite fun...because they are extremely accommodating and they take you out to nice restaurants, etc. My coworker has a young daughter so they highlighted all of the child-friendly things in the various cities that they visited.

How do I feel about all of this?

Well, it's hard to think about now because we don't really know what positions will be available in the next year or so... It just requires that resident hubby and I have random conversations about anything and everything. These conversations can be quite fun. :-P Here are some of the questions that we've discussed over the years...and our general answers in parenthesis.

Do we want to live in a big city, small town, or suburb? (Preferably suburb of a big city in the mid west or east coast but within a very close proximity of where he will be working to cut down on traffic time. Living near a big city also provides me with better educational opportunities for graduate nursing programs in the future. Also, we just like being near a big city for all of the other features--things to do, grocery stores, lots of ethnic food, bigger airports for easier travel to see resident hubby's parents or even taking a trip, etc.)

Do we buy a home or rent a home the first couple of years that he is in practice? (We plan on renting a home/townhouse the first couple of years...saving as much money as we can...which leaves us with the option of packing up and moving if he feels that he wants to move to another practice. It also gives us the freedom of being able to search for a home on our own free time, stress free...as opposed to jumping into purchasing a home that we might not be all that crazy about.)

What is resident hubby's initial impression of the practice? After establishing himself there, does he feel like it might be a permanent position or a stepping stone? (His chairman said that usually about 80% of surgeons end up eventually leaving the first practice that they start with, which is quite normal and accepted within practices.)

What are our long term goals? (Do we still aim to end up in Ohio, close to resident hubby's parents, even if there are no initial opportunities there? What if we end up liking where we are--is the area conducive to resident hubby's parents living close to us or even with us if health issues arise for them? We also will probably need to learn about the educational opportunities available to our future children--just in case we stay there permanently. ;-))

As you can see...there is quite a broad spectrum of issues to cover with each opportunity and we'll be able to make a decision based on the pros and cons of each specific place. It's almost like we have to keep our options open at any time...because there are a lot of shady practices out there that take advantage of physicians right out of residency. They realize that many of them have a tremendous amount of debt, families to support, and...it's so important to evaluate everything carefully...especially contracts.

If anything, the beauty of the interviews is that, even though they might entice us with the promise of a glamorous lifestyle, Jason and I feel that we're able to detach ourselves from the glitz...and make a logical decision. Also, like many couples, we have always felt that we'll just know when something is perfect for us...even if it is a temporary perfect. :-D

I'm really excited about the entire process...because I plan on having Jason's parents really involved with us. As much as it is Jason's job--it's a family affair! :-D They've suggested in the past that, once they retire, they will join us where ever we are...and I'd like them to like where we end up, too. :-D It's just hard to say what is going to happen...because we all don't really know what to expect...

But, don't worry...I'll definitely be posting all about them a year from now. In fact, I just bought my blog domain for a few more years...so I'll definitely be around... :-D

Scheduling Our Lives

On a somewhat random side note--resident hubby is officially a 5th year, YAY!! :-D



It's also that wonderful time of year again. It's fall semester schedule planning time...:-P

Planning this semester wasn't horrific, to be honest. But, just as I was about to finalize my fabulous schedule of taking 4 online classes...and 1 regular on campus class...and drooling at the thought of not having to drive in the (possible) snow all that much...I realized something huge in relationship to resident hubby's schedule.

This time next year, resident hubby and I will be going on job interviews...for him.

So weird...

Even more weird that...I kinda sorta really need to be there...!

So, being the good over-planner that I am, I decided that I am going to hold off on the available online classes and take them a year from now. That way, with all of the traveling that we'll have to be doing, it won't be a nightmare for me to miss class or anything like that. As long as I have a good internet connection, I should be good... My fall semester now consists of 3 regular courses and 2 online courses...which is still a pretty nice schedule, to be honest. :)

In addition to planning ahead, I had to think about the summer schedule a year from now. We're going to have a lot going on...since resident hubby will be finishing his residency at that point in time. For resident hubby's graduation, there are always a ton of events going on--picnics, dinners, the actual graduation itself and they are events that I really would not want to miss. With all of that, I know that resident hubby's parents are definitely going to be here, as well. So, the beauty of having old archived schedules on my school's website available to me is that I can look up what classes are offered in shorter 8 week semesters so I can possibly be off until July...when resident hubby will be done with residency...and studying for his boards.

In the big plan of things, I will be hopefully finishing my bachelor's in psychology and sociology in May of 2011, which is approximately 2 and a half months before we'll probably have to move... to where ever we end up. All in all, it's such a nice feeling to have a general plan of how things are going to go...

I must confess, this is just so weird to think about. It's, literally, right around the corner...!!! :o)

Another Pug on the Way

No, no, it's not what you think. :) (I am still working on talking resident hubby into getting another pug...:-P)

Moe's foster, S, and I still communicate through e-mail--she got quite attached to Moe and was sad to see him go. Also, by spending a lot of time at the various adoption events, her and I got to know each other very well. She's very sweet--in her 60s, has usually about four dogs running around her home. S always comments how excited she is that Moe is going to be around when resident hubby and I get married and have kids. She's just adorable. :)

Anyways, I email her pictures of Moe and send updates about what all three of us are up to... She emailed me a few days ago and stated that she was heading out of town for a week next month. She wanted to see if anyone could take one of her foster pugs...and, of course, I begged resident hubby and, because he's a smart man (and didn't want to hear me whine about it for a month), he agreed. :)

So...we are getting a 5-6 year old female pug next month, nicknamed Miss P. Unfortunately, she was dumped off on the side of the road, more than likely, by a puppy mill person since they know that she's had a few litters for her young age. Miss P is also missing an eye...but, by looking at her pictures, I am so excited that we'll be able to spoil her when she's here! :-D

So, my question is--for the dog owners out there who were nutty enough to get a second dog, any words of advice on how to handle 2 pugs?? :) Any general advice about feeding, walking, just handling dishing out all of the affection would be great. :-D

Here's Miss P's picture, by the way. :-D



P.S. Even though it is only for a week, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!! :-D :-D :-D

The Start of a Good Week

Resident hubby's car died yesterday morning...and my cell phone is sitting on the roof below our balcony...because, well, I dropped it a little while ago. I would be more concerned about retreiving it, but I have an essay due in about 2 hours.

Yes, I procrasinate like it's an extreme sport. :-P

Ah, this is going to be a good week, I can just feel it...;-)

Being the Wierdos

I think one of the hardest things for me to watch as a doctor’s partner…is how others treat their partner. In the almost 3 years that I’ve been dating resident hubby, I think that we’ve gotten to a point where we are just waiting for residency to be done…because you just experience so many weird situations that make you shake your head. Resident hubby comes home with stories that he hears from his coworkers who are venting about their wives….and some of the stories (and wives) just make me cringe.

I’ve mentioned a few times how we’re waiting to get married mainly because I will get probably next to nothing for financial aid for school…and there is no way that we could afford me to attend school any other way. Most of his coworkers know this…but I think they are creeped out by the simple fact that I am not stressing out about not being married. In fact, I think they day they were really confused was after we got engaged and how I said that I told resident hubby to get me a band since it was cheaper...

We witness many of resident hubby’s coworkers getting pressured to get engaged or married by their significant other while they are in residency. In some ways, I can understand this to a certain degree--there are a lot of legal benefits to getting married. You can share health/dental insurance, you are the legal benefactor in the event that something happens to your spouse, and you don’t have to sit around and wait for your partner to get home to make any big decisions or run big errands (for example, the time that I called resident hubby’s job about his benefit paperwork when we were out of state). There is definitely some security there, too, because let’s face it--you can apply for financial support in the event that you get divorced. Anyways, back to the main point: doctors getting pressured by their partners to make it legal and, sometimes, from both my and resident hubby’s view…it’s sad to see what the pressuring partners don’t see.

For example, one time, I took resident hubby lunch at the hospital. The timing of everything happened perfectly which is a rarity--he was on a trauma rotation and I caught him on the phone right as he was about to go. He happened to be taking a lunch with his coworker, B, who was a new intern and on call in the hospital overnight. So, naturally, I asked hubby to ask B if he wanted anything for lunch. B was pretty shocked, which I found a little strange, and told resident hubby after he got off the phone with me, “wow…that's really nice...my girlfriend would never bring me lunch at the hospital in a million years.”

Anyways, we’re all sitting at the cafeteria and B starts telling us about how his girlfriend keeps dropping hints that she wants to get married. He told us how it seemed like she didn’t say much…but every time that she got drunk, it became an intense conversation, complete with tears. He paused for a minute…and took a deep breath and then bummed both resident hubby out by what he said next. “You know, I don’t want to marry anyone else in the world but her…but, I need money to buy a nice ring…and I’m an intern. I don’t have any money for a ring let alone a wedding! I just want to do things the right way…instead of rushing it.” (For any males reading this, just in case your wondering: rushing it = forced into it.)

They were engaged a short time later…and married a little while ago and I can‘t help but think how sad it is that B’s wife had no idea how dedicated B was to her. This is the same woman goes out of her way to say hello to resident hubby at dinners and events but has yet to acknowledge me. (No, I have never been mean to her--I actually sat with her for an hour at the introduction dinner for the new residents…but, apparently, I wasn’t good enough for her, who knows?)

Another woman is another one of resident hubby’s coworker’s wife. I met her when she was still the girlfriend…and, boy, have things changed since the wedding. She quit her job (no school, no kids on the way, just to clarify)…has taken a handful of exotic vacations with her new husband (who is still on a resident’s salary, by the way), and just demanded that he buy her a Mercedes. He justified his purchase to resident hubby by stating, “well, it’s a used one” and stating that they don’t have much debt “except for the credit cards.” When we attend dinners or events together, she barely acknowledges me…but makes it a point to inspect the attending physician’s house (events are usually held at the docs' homes) and points out what things she wants in their own home to her husband. She does this in front of everyone…and everyone just sighs uncomfortably.

I confess--not all of the wives are like that, to be honest. Some of them are nice/sane…but they usually have children and it’s hard for them and I to relate enough to spend time together. (Our Minnesota trip was a perfect example of that--I became close to the other wife probably because we were miserable in a different state and lived down the hall from each other.) But, it’s the bad ones that just make your blood boil…and, oddly enough, I understand now why some of the doctors’ wives are quiet at the events.

It’s like a job--stand there, look pretty, make small talk…and count the minutes until you can go home...because, quite frankly, it's none of my business what people choose to do in their personal lives...or how they choose to spend their husband's salary.

I wish I had more positive things to add but it’s just the nature of the beast, especially with how much the average orthopedic surgeon makes ($450,000 in case you are wondering). I guess I’m the odd person because it really creeps me out that resident hubby is going to be making that much. (Especially thinking that any “average” job that I have in the future will be 10% of his total income--but that is a different post!)

The idea of a big mansion (more to clean) or an expensive car (higher insurance rates, higher rate of theft)…or even expensive jewelry (How many times can you wear gaudy jewelry to the grocery store?) just isn’t important to me, to be honest. I have a feeling that this evolved from after my parents’ deaths--you realize that money is just the sillest thing in the world…but that can also cause you a lot of stress. It's such a double edged sword...

I dunno--it’s weird. I'm weird.

I guess what I’m getting at is extravagance. Resident hubby and I agree that we feel like we live an extravagant life as it is. We have a nice home, live in a nice neighborhood, feed our dog good food, pay our bills, and have a little left over to splurge on random stuff (like military caffeine gum or a t-shirt from snorgtees.com). We don’t struggle…but we definitely don’t live beyond our means...and we don't plan to in the future either.

Our big "dream" goals are to pay off our debt…and maybe building a guest house attached to our future home so resident hubby’s parents can spend the maximum amount of time with their future grandchildren and pugs. (Yes, that was plural--one can dream, can't she? :-P)

I know, we’re so weird. ;-)

Still Loopy (Apparently)

The surgery went great today...and I just got home a little while ago.

For those of you who have not had surgery, the normal protocol is that you go into pre-op where they give you an IV and then eventually the CRNA comes in and gives you versed. This is a medication used as a sedative prior to the procedure itself that pretty much will knock out any memory you have after getting it. They reactions of patients after they receive this medication is usually funny....and mine was, of course.

Resident hubby was present when they administered this...and I immediately began giggling and said, "oh, my life is really good." I remember him laughing...and that is a good way to go into surgery. :o)

Then, I woke up...everything was done...got some pain meds for the pain I was experiencing...and we left.

Resident hubby got me flowers, Einstein Bagel (I love the club mex sandwich and the yogurt with fruit and granola)...and then we went home.

After I got settled in...resident hubby, unfortunately, had to return to work. :( But, I'm happy that he was there for the entire procedure because he made me laugh the entire time. :)

My sister and brother (weird, I know) are stopping by later to see how I'm doing...and my best friend, H, and resident hubby's mom have all checked up on me.

Maybe I'm still loopy from the medication because I'm all giggly...and still thinking I have a great life. It's nice to be surrounded by a ton of love. :) It's a major relief to be able to put this behind me. :)

Feeling Funky

The school g-ds have been good to me today...:)

My school's online website crashed and, well, we are all sooooooooo disappointed that we won't be able to take the midterm today....and that we have another day to study. :-D :-D :-D
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In other news, I'm guessing that I have a bit of explaining to do as to why my posts have been lackluster lately.

I confess...I feel kind of down lately and I'm not sure why.

I even had a coworker call me out on it today and ask me what was going on. I normally am happy, cheery all of the time...but, lately, it seems like the little things have been getting to me. Drama at work (which isn't new), busy schedule with resident hubby (again, not new), and a new schedule filled with homework and potty breaks for me (ditto). Even I want to ask myself--"dude, what's up??"

The general consensus between many of my coworkers is that they feel the same way--life stuff going on, everyone's sick (resident hubby and I just got better)...or maybe it's just a year of funk for everyone. There could be some hidden explanations for this:

1. My surgery is Thursday. Resident hubby might even be able to get some time off that day to spend with me when I get home from the hospital. I'm nervous...and a surgeon simply doesn't know how to make you feel better. (Surgery is no big deal to them. :-P) I can't wait for Thursday night when this will be behind me...

2. Resident hubby and I will be celebrating a year of being engaged in August... As much as it is wonderful to have called him my fiance for the last year....we have watched many people in resident hubby's program get married...and, quite honestly, it makes the both of us sad. Even though we know that we are waiting for all of the right reasons (financial aid for school, not burdening the parents with the cost of a wedding, etc.)...I guess I realized, after some time, that if we don't make getting married a priority to us....it's simply going to be put off for an eternity. Then again, 2011 is right around the corner. Ah, well...

I'm just being whiney because...I'm ready to be married. :)

3. Resident hubby is approaching his final year of residency. It's so weird, to be honest...and I think him and I are realizing that life is passing us by so quickly...and we feel down because we rarely get a moment to really enjoy it. It's hard to explain but even on our weekends (when we both usually are not working), there are always tons of things going on for us. In addition to being busy, we seem to be on opposite schedules lately. When I'm working, he comes home early. When I'm doing homework, he's got some free time. Etc. Etc.

4. One of my girlfriends is getting divorced. I'm sad for her...it's a complicated story that has gone on for a while but let's just say that its situations like this that make me realize that I'm getting older. No longer are couple issues black and white--everything seems to be a shade of gray...including my hair. :-P I look forward to Moe bombarding her with kisses when we finally hang out...he's good therapy for anyone. :-D

5. Speaking of relationship stress--hubby and I need some time together...and we realize it. This constant chaos in our home is taking a toll on the both of us both mentally and physically... I think it just has to do with the fact that we are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel... Anyways, in August, when I am off from school for a few weeks, he's going to take a week off from work...and we're going to stay home, do absolutely nothing and it's going to be everything that we hoped for. :-D

6. I'm having post-anxiety. I hate writing about bad stuff and bad moments...and I tend to keep quiet instead of posting about the tough moments. I'm realizing that I tend to show it even when I don't think that I am... Plus, I tend to forget that it's part of the purpose of this blog--the stress of dating a doctor...

Anyways, that's it. More to come!

My Favorite Question to Ask Moe...

I know, for the lack of posting, I'm totally slacking by posting cute videos of Moe. :-D Enjoy!

I love the little sneeze at the end...:)

In the next video, you get to experience our fabulous 3 flights of stairs, as well...;-)

I just love these videos because ya'll know how relaxed he is (sleeping 20 hours a day, minimum)...but he just LOVES the dog park! :-D

Role Reversal

So, I got the test results... No cancer (thank goodness) and no long term effects with having kids in the future (thank goodness). However, there are still some abnormal cells and my doctor thinks that they should be removed. I'm having a surgical procedure done next month which is kind of routine, I suppose, considering that I'm now learning that many, many women have had this done. So, that was good....and resident hubby was even able to go with me to my doctor's appointment to hear the test results.

This happened because he was on vacation this week. I was really happy...but also somewhat bummed because I picked up a ton of hours at work. Since I finished my semester last week Friday and began a new one on Monday, it only seemed to make sense that since resident hubby was home with Moe...that I pick up hours. I worked the equivalent of a full time schedule, had class on Monday and Tuesday night...and, oh my goodness, was I pooped every day. I had a taste of what resident hubby must feel like when he comes home after his long days...and resident hubby had an idea of what my schedule is like and why I drool at the thought of having a yard in the future. :-P

All of this week, resident hubby took over the potty schedule with Moe...and cleaned our place from top to bottom. Ladies and gentlemen, his thorough cleaning...put any type of cleaning I've done in the past to shame. That is how clean our place is. :)

Other than that, resident hubby and I talked about how exciting this upcoming year is for us--lots of big things in store. He'll officially become a 5th year resident (his final year of residency), we'll be celebrating our 3 year anniversary, and 1 year anniversary of having Moe...and I'll be a junior after the summer semester. :-D

So...moving right along. :)

More posts about annoying classmates (oh, they are loads of fun already this semester), drama with coworkers, and everything in between. :-D